go to Indonesia

and take the offer, i want to tell G.  as if it is the easiest thing in the world.  

when asked, "when is M.A. coming back?"  G said M.A. is playing it by ear.  there are no pre-booked flights, nothing on the calendar.  just plans, vaguest possible.  and M.A., wanting to earn more, intends to move further. 

i want to tell G the obvious:  the plans do not include you.  but maybe i am not the best person to say so.  being unreliable, being an unbeliever.

my point is:  if it is love, with all its trappings, it is not impossible to mark the calendar.  if it is love, with all its trappings, the plans must be measurable, must be for two.

Indonesia is worlds away from M.A.  too far, G says.  what if M.A. calls?  what if there suddenly is a plan?  i say nothing.  what to tell G?  take the offer and go to Indonesia.  go to another world.  for now, without her, there is nothing in this old city but lonely.

G says i can take it.  G says i will carry on (while i wait).
i say nothing over coffee, lukewarm, without hazelnut.