mirror

it  struck me, just as i was about to leave the office, in the restroom, looking up after washing my hands, and seeing myself on the mirror, with the indistinguishable light from the very very late sun mixed 

with the onset of dusk.  how i folded my crisp sleeves at the elbows, the wristwatch half glinting, how, while the rest of what i own shades of white and blue, the only pink shirt so suddenly reminded me.  

a moment, when the face on the mirror is of someone older, a once-upon-a-long-time-ago childhood hero.  wasn't i told many times how we could be so much alike.  the smile, maybe, other expressions 

on the open face, two left feet, an awkwardness when dancing, humor, carefully tempered temper and impatience, a proud sharpness when angry...how i carefully reminded myself to constantly remember

how he was so i would not follow.  consciously not follow and be better.  like a constant keeping of distance from a dark corner shadow.